Just Plain Weird
Just when David, Allen and Abysmii were getting comfortable with this series, Paul throws a curve ball of seeming incompetence when the story forgets a certain character died in a prior chapter; meanwhile Ascott and Beatrice play dress-up to survive, and the main showdown turns into a anti-climactic Pokemon battle.
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, January 1936.
With a new year of mounting dread upon most everyone’s heads, David, Allen and Abysmii decide to ease into it with the ever-comforting Luciferian antics of Doctor Satan. This time, he’s getting into the insurance business is a fittingly weird way, and is once again using fire as the catalyst for his plot. How many fat businessmen will Ascott Keane sacrifice in the pursuit of his greatest foe? How many people will be added to the Faint Counter? And how in the world is Doctor Satan still unknown to the elite class that he’s targeting?
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, January 1936.
That absolute madman Allen Chaney has David and Kaela with him to be witness to a daring stunt that is sure to freak minds. Will he survive?
“this story could kill allen” (aka, “The leak from the upstairs flat”) was submitted by Julia Grane
The line between Rorshack Rorsharn and Julia Grane blurs further as David lets Abysmii pick the two stories they will read, one from each pseudonym. And, like in the past, their horizons are broadened as they read way too much into the jank narratives, bringing the episode to a surprisingly poignant conclusion.
“the skibidi man” was submitted by Rorshack Rorshan; “lift your problems” was submitted by Julia Grane.
Atomic scrambling has left Abysmii a living skeleton, so David, Kaela and Allen will have to finish their analysis of Doctor Satan’s current cruel scheme. With Ascott Keane closing in, will the diabolical villain be able to follow through with his plan? Or will the power of his mysterious ray see both of them cut down to size (pun intended)?
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, October 1935.
Have David and Allen been hoodwinked? Is this a sign of a narrative trend? A mysterious writer submits five very short stories that bear the uncanny hallmarks of shortstory1 and Rorshack Rorshan, and leaves them scratching their heads as they try to figure out what is going on.
All stories submitted by Julia Grane.
Doctor Satan brings his weird crimes to Tinseltown, much to David, Allen and Abysmii's mirth. Can it be that, despite the horror it evokes, this latest scheme to pry cash from wealthy studio moguls doesn't involve direct murder? And how much good has the birdlike Ascott Keane actually done when he has consistently failed to stop his nemesis? No bones about it, this might be the goofiest entry in the series so far!
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, October 1935.
David and Matt are in for a shock as they join Kaela, Allen and Abysmii for the explosive finale of the second Doctor Satan tale. As Ascott Keane learns the truth of his adversary’s latest scheme, prepare to be jolted by the reveal of Bostiff’s backstory, a staggering amount of innuendo, and the electric clock’s purpose becoming the dumbest plot point Paul Ernst has conceived so far.
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, September 1935.
Be sure to check out our New Pulp Revival Writing Challenge here!
The actual second story in the Doctor Satan series is unveiled as Kaela, Allen and Abysmii clue in to the newest scheme of the world’s weirdest criminal. Ascott Keane disguises himself as a tree to film people, a man’s last words have something to do with shaving, and an electric clock (or lack thereof) is somehow a giveaway for Doctor Satan’s dastardly plot. Will Keane ever get over himself enough to have another round with his equally-extra rival?
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, September 1935.
David and Kaela touch base with Kylie Keen of Animal Fact Files and spring a Rorshack Rorshan trap on their unsuspecting guest! But surprises await, even for those well-versed in the unique and head-scratching style of these stories, and by reading this one the hosts might have just doomed the planet Earth!
Be sure to check out our New Pulp Revival Writing Challenge here!
The rip-roaring conclusion to this recent adventure sees Doctor Satan delving into the art of necromancy on top of his static electricity research, Ascott Keane stoically neglect to name his scientist friend, and David, Allen and Abysmii keep at the nonsense jokes that basically write themselves.
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, November 1935.
Though we accidentally begin the fourth Doctor Satan story instead of the second, it does little to throw David, Allen and Abysmii off of the tropes that have already been established. The (good) doctor seems to be targeting fancy car manufacturers, but what does this next diabolical scheme entail? Is Doctor Satan actually the real inventor of the flux capacitor? And will Ascott Keane drag his long self out to confront his nemesis once again?
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, November 1935.
The thrilling conclusion of the first Doctor Satan story finds our erstwhile hero, Ascott Keane, meeting his arch-nemesis face-to-mask. David, Kaela, Allen and Abysmii are joined by Mastt Holley this time as they explore such uncanny powers as magical trash cans, blind noclipping through the city, and T-posing to call on the power of God and anime.
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, August 1935.
A pulp-infused saga unfolds as Abysmii shares a public domain discovery with David, Kaela and Allen. Straight form the pages of Weird Tales, the gang are introduced to the baffling crimes of the eponymous Devil-themed ne’er-do-well, and meet his arch-nemesis, the logical longboy Ascott Keane. Who will win? Who will lose? How many women will faint over the course of these stories? UCA is on the case!
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, August 1935.
Can we not go even three episodes before returning to the existential exercise that is reading a Rorshack Rorshan story? Apparently not, because David, Kaela, Abysmii and Papreeka are all together in person to read one featuring the dreaded Reality Man.
Story submitted by Rorshack Rorshan.
David, Allen and Abysmii will never in their lives be prepared for the twists and turns of these oddball stories. Also in this episode: anecdotes about Japan, Einstein jumpscares and a real reminder of the show’s credo.
Story submitted by Rorshack Rorshan.
In a surprise early episode, your usual hosts do their usual thing.
Story by Rorshack Rorshan.
David and long-suffering inter-dimensional traveler Ben Paddon (Jump Leads) will bug bomb their way through this Cleric story that has way too many legs and even more tangents. Arachnophobes beware: this episode contains a lot of daddy longlegs!
Story by ClericofMadness. Read along here.
2023 kicks off with something not quite Short and Shivery. David shares one last bit of SS1 emulation with Allen, and bonds will be tested.
Stories submitted by Troy Wullbrandt:
”We Won’t Leave Orbit Until My Son Learns His Lesson”
"Whole Foods Is Milking Something It Shouldn’t”
”My Daughter Loves The Snow Too Much”
”The Voices In My Walls Say Fight On”
The wrapping paper is coming off of this holiday gift for David, Kaela, Allen, Abysmii and Papreeka, and it turns out it’s a rotten apple of a fanfic - a return of sorts to the nonsensical narrative universe of Happy Appy. How does the story handle when written by someone other than Dronian? Well…
“Happy Appy III: the sequel-prequel happy happy-appening” was submitted by Gamma Numeric.
